Another Day

Today is a better day :-)
Ruth cheered me up by making me realising I ain't got it so bad. Poor Ruth. She is a great girl, got everything going for her. Hope she finds someone who will treat her properly. Am sure she will. She isn't stupid.
Got to download this new fan Star Wars film today. Was quite impressed with the special effects  in the trailer.
Hopefully will go back to taekwon do tomorrow

Life is S**t

IF YOU READ THIS. DON'T TELL ME YOU READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where is my life going?

This has been one of the worst years of my life (bar the years where my mum, nan, step mum and foster dad died)

Why have Nic and I split up? She won't tell me. She just wants to be on her own and do things on her own (like she has done since leaving home). That is what she tells me anyway. She wants to be just friends, which is fine by me. I rather have her as a friend that not know her at all. She has been my best friend for 4 years, but I not hers I think.

If I didn't keep in touch with her would she keep in touch with me? I doubt it. I think she wants me out of her life, but just won't tell me that, just like she wouldn't split up with me. Just made it so I would have to split up with her. She never asked me why I thought we needed to split up, or argued, just said "Yeah, that sounds sensible". That was quite hurtful really.

Have realised I really don't have any friends my own age. To go out and get pissed with. Do anything with really. Have lost touch with them since been going out with Nic. Now I am on my own again, like the 10 years before I met Nic.

I need to start going to Taekwondo again. It was always the part of my life I most enjoyed. Just wish my hand would work properly again. Fucking doctor. Told me it would heal itself in 8 months....Wait for 6 months, no better...Go see specialist...Can't do anything because I have left it too long!!! I left it too long???? F**king doctor Jankovic.

At least I get to see Twisted Sister live in November That is something to look forward to. And there is loads to do at work at the moment. Which is good. Keeps me from thinking too much and writing stuff life this all the time.

Think it is good for me to write this though. At least I can look back and know how/what I was thinking. Not really sure I want anyone to read this though. Fuck it, am not deleting it, and if I write it elsewhere I will lose it.

Will put a note on the top, I think.